A Survival Guide for Compound Caregivers
According to a report by AARP, 41.8 million US adults provide care to an adult over fifty, all of whom are unpaid caregivers. And with increased longevity, coupled with an aging baby boomer population who needs more care and a lack of paid caregivers, there has been a rise in compound caregiving—caring for two or more people simultaneously. Regardless of racial and ethnic groups, income levels, education, gender, and family type, the need for this type of caregiving is cross-generational.
Use this guide to help manage your loved one’s day-to-day needs while still maintaining your mental, physical, and financial well-being.
Put on your life vest first
Facilitating care for one person is hard enough, but adding another person only makes compound caregiving that much more physically and emotionally demanding regardless of age, physical strength, or financial stability. Whether you’ve been at this a while or are adapting to your new role as a compound caregiver, you’re likely juggling several balls in the air. Without proper self-care and a sufficient external support system, chances are you’ll drop one when you least expect it.
Set aside “me” time
Whether it’s doing your errands, finding quiet moments, or taking a few days off to regroup, it’s critical to incorporate free time into your schedule. Try not to wait until the eleventh hour—it may be challenging to find coverage at the last minute. You may also want to consider respite care from an outside source who can help provide you with a breather from your everyday routine.
Find time to socialize
Be careful not to isolate yourself from family and friends. This can be easy to do, especially if you’re exhausted and feeling overwhelmed. Instead, take the time, even for short periods, to relax with those you enjoy being around to help you remain positive and become rejuvenated.
Take care of your health
Whether lifting someone on and off the bed, bathing, showering, and dressing them, or simply bending up and down frequently, caring for two people simultaneously can take a physical toll on your body. Engaging in regular exercise will help reduce stress and keep your body flexible and strong.
Determine their needs
Sometimes your loved ones need more than what you can provide. For example, they may be struggling with their activities of daily living (ADL), which includes choosing appropriate clothing and dressing independently, getting in and out of bed, maintaining personal hygiene, such as proper bathing, grooming, and toileting, cooking and eating nutritious meals, and keeping the house clean and safe. They may also be experiencing increased feelings of isolation or depression or becoming frailer and more dependent on you. If you’re noticing any of these signs, it may be time to consider the following steps to obtain the necessary support.
Organize a family meeting
Taking on the whole of compound caregiving can be incredibly overwhelming. Therefore, schedule a time to gather your family members to communicate with them what you need¾be honest! If you don’t vocalize what’s required to help you get through your day or week, they cannot give it to you. For instance, if mom needs more help than dad, some other family members may be able to step up to take some of that burden off your shoulders. Ultimately, the goal is to take some of the onus off you by enlisting the help of others.
Make a calendar
Create a weekly or monthly calendar that each family member can use to keep track of the caregiving needs. This can serve as a reminder of the responsibilities and tasks they have committed to. For example, if one of your siblings is providing your parents with two hot meals on Mondays and Wednesdays, and then another family member transports them to some of their doctor appointments, you can then cross those tasks off your to-do list, showing you the holes in your calendar that need to be filled.
Consider outside care
Research local agencies that can offer advice and assistance, such as adult day cares or community programs. You could reach out to a social worker who can assist with issues that may be causing discourse between you and other family members or the loved one you are caring for. You don’t have to relinquish all responsibilities, but subsidizing your caregiving with outside assistance can help you feel less tired and strained.
Compound caregiving can be a rewarding experience knowing that you’re preserving your loved one’s quality of life. However, as caregivers become increasingly more crucial to the care of the aging demographic, putting in proper support systems will be essential. So be proactive in seeking professionals with the knowledge and resources to help you.